Life right now is quite challenging, I must say. I know God is faithful and will provide for me, but I easily get stuck in a downward spiral of looking at my life as a whole instead of one situation at a time. For example, I have about 150 pages of textbook reading to do this week, and instead of looking at it chapter by chapter, subject by subject, I see it as an unconquerable mountain of reading that I feel so overwhelmed by, that I just don’t even make an attempt to start.
I need a job, and I “applied” for the WJU Music Department internship, but from what I hear, “the position has been filled” (a little quote from Mrs. Doubtfire there). My friends have been pushing me to work at Burger Hut Burgers, but I don’t want to work in food. Nugget seems nice. Yet I can’t seem to even begin to apply to places when I have this monstrously huge homework load on my shoulders (which, as scary as it is to think about, is much less than the load will be next semester when I take 18 units). Therefore, I put an ad on Craigslist for guitar lessons. Hopefully I can gather some more cash that way. Also, I put my moped up for sale for $1800. I know it’s the middle of winter and no one wants to buy a moped in the middle of winter, but I really do need the money. I have an amp I could sell, but I don’t want to resort to that. And though this is unrealistic that my “poverty” would come down to this, I’d rather be literally homeless and looking for food in the most humble ways; I’d rather sell the clothes off my back than sell something like my guitar.
Since my headphones broke, the only ones I have left are my AKG headphones, and they cut off the blood circulation in my temples, and I get headaches when I wear them. But I hate Starbucks music more than anything, so I have to use these. Oh, and I am at Starbucks because I needed my computer for school and I have no internet, what is more, no electricity at my house, because somehow, PG&E didn’t get our payment.
And in light of my venting about how much homework I have, and the fact that I am sitting here blogging instead of doing that homework, I will now end this blog with a quote:
Strange because I believe it is my future staring back at me.
But all in all, its unlikely Ill succeed.
I’ve developed a lovely distaste for your heart on my sleeve.
