is not where I keep my real thoughts. I keep those in a little brown imitation Moleskine notebook that I bought at Target (though it is actually quite sturdier than a real Moleskine). I hope to have a bunch of them on a bookshelf by the time I’m grey, with Roman numerals on the spine. There are journals, poetry, prayers, songs, Bible study notes, theology, theories, thoughts, drawings, etc., all in my little notebook. And it’s mine! So wordpress is really just leftover crumbs of all the not-so-important issues in my life that I decide are appropriate for the interweb.
I just downloaded 30 sermons from the past three Resolved conferences, and about 12 Piper sermons. I figure, I have two 25 minute drives to and from work, so I might as well listen to something edifying. Either tonight or tomorrow, I’m ‘pedding to Dixon, so that’s 4 hours round trip for sermon-listening.
I’m going to Dixon because Eric has 4 free passes to Marine World, so me, him, Ashley, and Robbie are going to go. Me and Robbie can hold hands and flirt and cuddle in the car, so we don’t feel left out.
Ok, seriously. All the “Christian” girls I know are freaking just not even serious about it. I know about a handful of true, sincere Christian girls who would rather be put to death than deny Christ. Every other out there is like “Religious views: Christian” … “About me: I just like to have parties with my friends and live for shopping. oh and I go to church.” I want to meet a girl who can’t stop talking about Jesus who saved her from her sin! Is that too much to ask for? It’s like, even people who go as far as lifting their hands during worship, it just doesn’t seem like they are that into God on the other six days of the week. And I also put this upon myself. I don’t want to be proud as I look at people like that. I want to help them and remember that I have just as many inconsistencies. But honestly… I just want to meet a girl who is so focused on God, that it’s going to take His sovereign hand to turn her head in my direction.
I’ve been limiting myself to eight hours of sleep a night and so far it’s been working out nicely. So I have six more hours until I work. Until then, I think I’ll go to Peet’s and read. Because there is a girl there who loves Jesus. And I’d like to introduce myself.
But really, I trust sovereign God to do as he pleases, and only as he pleases, in my life, especially as far as this issue is concerned.
2 Comments
June 23, 2009 at 11:27 am
It’s true that not all girls are as in love with Jesus as they could be, but you worrying about their devotion to God should come from a compassion for their lives and souls as opposed to you finding a girl for yourself.
You are expecting the girls to be 100% focused on God and nothing else, yet it seems like you get quite distracted and worried about finding a girl.
Maybe finding a gal is one of those things that will happen when you stop focusing on and worrying about it. Just live for God and let the rest fall into place. Give the worry and stress up to Him.
June 23, 2009 at 11:36 am
True, true, and touche. I agree, and really, I do follow the advice you’ve given. My groans and rants are merely surface level, and you’re right: I should be just as they are, so in love with God that it’s going to take his sovereign hand to turn my head in her direction. And In my defense from your statements, hinting that I am a hopeless romantic who needs to stop worrying because no one else is, I will restate: I trust sovereign God to do as he pleases, and only as he pleases, in my life, especially as far as this issue is concerned.
In addition, I’ll add: I’m ok. I really don’t think about it that much. I don’t toss and turn in my bed, waiting for God to tell me why I am so hopelessly lonely, because I’m not. This topic was just something that came to my head, so I wrote about it.